Be Tactful: Think Before You Talk

 

Many problems are caused by misunderstandings. Misunderstandings are caused by miscommunication. To communicate better and prevent problems caused by miscommunication, you need to start with being tactful. It is saying the right words in the right manner. To do this, you must think carefully before you talk.

Communication is very important in life. Telling other people what you need or want solves or prevents problems. Interacting with others in conversations or discussions is necessary. However, you should be careful what you say. The goal of talking is to solve problems. It is not to add to them. When you do not carefully think and talk, you can add to the mess. Further, do not want to say anything that you may regret in afterwards.

Think First

Before you say anything, give it a thought first. As second thought, even. Think about will it contribute to solve the problem, or not, or even add to it. To do this, think about what others will feel about what you will say. If you need to say it, think of how you can say it in a nice way or, maybe, at least the nicest way possible. Think of how the persons involved will feel. It will really add up to the problem if what you will say will hurt them especially if you say it in a careless way.

There are times when you need to say things which can hurt other people. You might even need to do so in a somewhat hurting way. For example, you have this younger co-worker who has shown recklessness. Then one time some minutes before working time, he leaves the loudspeakers of his computer playing disco music and goes to the recreation area to play Xbox video games. You will need to tell this person in an emphatic way.

You believe or even just feel that you need to tell people like this to watch their behaviour. If so, you should weigh between the need to say it and its effect on the person. If it will really not help the person because he is already hardened and it will only worsen him as he will retaliate, you will need to just let it pass and just report the incident to the higher level. But if you still believe that it will help the person realise his mistake, then you can greatly consider telling him.

Focus on the Positive

One best way of thinking of what to say is to look at the brighter side of things. Yes, you can start by thinking of the bad things that a person does. However, you there should be good things that they have done or good traits that they have. Think of these things and talk about them. Then, maybe you can even insert some of the bad. This is effective communication because you are not only able to give credit that is due to the person but you are also able to bring up the things which are not so good and they will listen. This is called “positive-negative-positive” commenting in human resource psychology.

 

Another important aspect of being tactful is to not say anything at all, at least about the topic or person in question. If you are asked to say something, you may decline. You can say what you think about the topic but not about the person. Again, you have to think first. You have time to do so. While others are asked about the topic and the individual involved and taking turns in saying what they have in mind, you can prepare and think. Decide what you will say and how you will say it. You may even need to make a decision to not say anything at all. Prepare your reason for doing so. Then, when your turn to say something comes, you can decline and give the reasons why.